Recently I dived headlong into the world of dating for Cherry Goes Dating. But the truth is I've never been in a less dating place as I have both a baby and a hubbie! So why on earth did I make a programme about dating?!
Dating has been a huge part of my life. I hopped onto the love rollercoaster at 16 and I have (mostly) really enjoyed the crazy ups and downs. And when it comes to types of dating, you name it, I've tried it. Technically, I've been researching for this film for over a decade. If this was a subject in school, I would get an A* for effort.
![Cherry Goes Dating (Cherry Healey and Katie McDonald)]()
In some sense, this was a way of making peace with that chapter of my life coming to a close, perhaps forever. No more amazing first dates, no more first kisses, no more hilarious bad-date stories. So after such extensive research what have I learnt along the way?
Blind dating
This is perhaps my favourite type of dating! Most likely, the date has been set up by friends who really know you and the other person. So, if the spark of love doth not fly, at least there is a good chance it won't be horrendous.
Online dating
Some people say it lacks old school romance. But for many people this is a small price to pay for meeting someone in a comfortable environment. Sometimes it's also considered dangerous. But as one person commented, is it any more dangerous than picking someone up in a bar? And there are now enough amazing success stories to convince anyone of it's effectiveness. However, online dating requires a close following of the dating rules (see below) but once I'd clocked onto these, I found it brilliant fun.
![Cherry Goes Dating (Cherry Healey and Madeleine Amber)]()
Speed dating
My experience of this was miserable. There is just no way on earth I could tell if they were lovely or not in two minutes! And it's incredibly cut-throat. You find out via an online form whether people liked you or not. I'm sure for some people it's worked wonders but this really didn't tickle my fancy.
Public transport
This is less dodgy than it sounds. I found two boyfriends on public transport. One on the Eurostar (yes he was a saucy Frenchman) and the other on the underground (the relationship was short and sweet, just like him). I think this is such a romantic way to meet someone - if it worked, what a great story to tell your grandchildren. However, the downside is that you are going in totally blind - you know nothing about them and if you're going to hook up again, make sure you follow the safe-dating rules!
School/Work
This might seem like the perfect place to hook up with someone BUT I slowly learnt that you need to be be really, really sure it's worth the risk. If it doesn't work out, you have to see them EVERY DAY! Yikes.
When I was making Cherry Goes Dating I met Madeleine, a lady who's got loads of experience of going on dates. Watch this to see what she thinks men really want:
During my dating odyssey I created a few dating rules. After years and years of dating I realised that there were ways of minimising disappointment/heartbreak/embarrassment. (F.Y.I. they don't always work!!!)
CHERRY'S TOP TEN DATING RULES:
1. For a first date, only meet for a drink. If it goes well you can suggest dinner but if it's not going well you can say you're meeting friends and leg it without hurting their feelings!
2. Don't meet too close to where either of you live. Meet half way so there's less chance of bumping into each other afterwards!
3. Tell three of your mates/members of family where you are going and what you are doing.
4. Sounds a bit extreme but ask a friend to call you an hour after the date has started - not only is it super safe but if the date is really bad you have an excuse to leave! Be warned that if you do this it's pretty obvious!
5. Don't buy anything new for the first date. If it's a wet squid you will feel really annoyed at having spent the money. Save the hot new LBD for date no.2.
6. Just be yourself. Don't try and impress with white lies - better to find out if he likes the real you, right at the start.
7. If you didn't like your date, let them know gently the next day. Always practise good dating karma as one day it might be you on the receiving end!
8. If a guy has the courage to ask you out - be kind!! Boys might be the ones that often do the asking but it's just as scary for them.
9. If you're online dating, be picky about who you actually go on a date with. It's easy to run out of enthusiasm after the 10th bad date.
10. Enjoy the process! You'll be in a relationship arguing about socks and bills quicker than you can say 'it's not you, it's me.'
Cherry Healey presents Cherry Goes Dating tonight at 9pm on BBC Three.
Got a good dating story? Share yours now.
Dating has been a huge part of my life. I hopped onto the love rollercoaster at 16 and I have (mostly) really enjoyed the crazy ups and downs. And when it comes to types of dating, you name it, I've tried it. Technically, I've been researching for this film for over a decade. If this was a subject in school, I would get an A* for effort.
Cherry Healey and Katie McDonald in Cherry Goes Dating
Blind dating
This is perhaps my favourite type of dating! Most likely, the date has been set up by friends who really know you and the other person. So, if the spark of love doth not fly, at least there is a good chance it won't be horrendous.
Online dating
Some people say it lacks old school romance. But for many people this is a small price to pay for meeting someone in a comfortable environment. Sometimes it's also considered dangerous. But as one person commented, is it any more dangerous than picking someone up in a bar? And there are now enough amazing success stories to convince anyone of it's effectiveness. However, online dating requires a close following of the dating rules (see below) but once I'd clocked onto these, I found it brilliant fun.
My experience of this was miserable. There is just no way on earth I could tell if they were lovely or not in two minutes! And it's incredibly cut-throat. You find out via an online form whether people liked you or not. I'm sure for some people it's worked wonders but this really didn't tickle my fancy.
Public transport
This is less dodgy than it sounds. I found two boyfriends on public transport. One on the Eurostar (yes he was a saucy Frenchman) and the other on the underground (the relationship was short and sweet, just like him). I think this is such a romantic way to meet someone - if it worked, what a great story to tell your grandchildren. However, the downside is that you are going in totally blind - you know nothing about them and if you're going to hook up again, make sure you follow the safe-dating rules!
School/Work
This might seem like the perfect place to hook up with someone BUT I slowly learnt that you need to be be really, really sure it's worth the risk. If it doesn't work out, you have to see them EVERY DAY! Yikes.
When I was making Cherry Goes Dating I met Madeleine, a lady who's got loads of experience of going on dates. Watch this to see what she thinks men really want:
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During my dating odyssey I created a few dating rules. After years and years of dating I realised that there were ways of minimising disappointment/heartbreak/embarrassment. (F.Y.I. they don't always work!!!)
CHERRY'S TOP TEN DATING RULES:
1. For a first date, only meet for a drink. If it goes well you can suggest dinner but if it's not going well you can say you're meeting friends and leg it without hurting their feelings!
2. Don't meet too close to where either of you live. Meet half way so there's less chance of bumping into each other afterwards!
3. Tell three of your mates/members of family where you are going and what you are doing.
4. Sounds a bit extreme but ask a friend to call you an hour after the date has started - not only is it super safe but if the date is really bad you have an excuse to leave! Be warned that if you do this it's pretty obvious!
5. Don't buy anything new for the first date. If it's a wet squid you will feel really annoyed at having spent the money. Save the hot new LBD for date no.2.
6. Just be yourself. Don't try and impress with white lies - better to find out if he likes the real you, right at the start.
7. If you didn't like your date, let them know gently the next day. Always practise good dating karma as one day it might be you on the receiving end!
8. If a guy has the courage to ask you out - be kind!! Boys might be the ones that often do the asking but it's just as scary for them.
9. If you're online dating, be picky about who you actually go on a date with. It's easy to run out of enthusiasm after the 10th bad date.
10. Enjoy the process! You'll be in a relationship arguing about socks and bills quicker than you can say 'it's not you, it's me.'
Cherry Healey presents Cherry Goes Dating tonight at 9pm on BBC Three.
Got a good dating story? Share yours now.
- Find out more about Cherry Goes Dating
- Read Cherry's thoughts on getting hitched
- Missed Cherry Gets Married? Watch it online now
- Find out how Cherry coped with having a baby
- More about Cherry Has a Baby
- Read Cherry Healey's own blog