Cherry Has a Baby (Cherry Healey and Sophia Sigawale)

• More about Cherry Has a Baby
• Find out about Cherry Gets Married
• Visit Cherry Healey's blog
• BBC Health: Pregnancy

Cherry Healey shares Bhakti Maisuri's wedding day in Cherry Gets Married

Cherry meets Jo Bryan and Rob Stone as they prepare for their wedding day

• More about Cherry Gets Married
• Read Cherry's thoughts about having a baby on the BBC Three blog
• Details about the previous programme Cherry Has a Baby
• Visit Cherry Healey's blog

Cherry Healey and Katie McDonald in Cherry Goes Dating

• Find out more about Cherry Goes Dating
• Read Cherry's thoughts on getting hitched
• Missed Cherry Gets Married? Watch it online now
• Find out how Cherry coped with having a baby
• More about Cherry Has a Baby
• Read Cherry Healey's own blog

I have a confession. Before I had a kid, I thought parenting was...
a) a doddle
b) boring
c) total instinctual

What I have experienced is that...
a) it can be pretty complicated
b) it is far from boring
c) I need help

I used to walk past playgrounds on my way to the pub/club/shops and think to myself "wow those parents look bored". I realise now that they aren't bored because being with your child is both surprisingly fun and challenging (okay, so sometimes playing peek-a-boo for the hundredth time is a touch boring).

One of the things I'm often told is "oh, don't fret about it, trust your instincts". Well, I have found that my instincts can sometimes be pretty unhelpful.

For example, my daughter does not like sitting in her high-chair... oh no she does not. My instincts told me that it wasn't a big deal and it was more important that mealtimes were relaxed. In reality, this has meant I have spent the past year chasing her around with a spoon or leaving bowls of food on the floor in the hope she will eat something. Eating in restaurants or having a simple cuppa in a cafe is a no-go.

I have since tried and tested a few new tactics, spoken to dozens of mums, been on a dozen websites, read a few books and come up with my a solution: no chair, no food. I won't bore you with the details of why or how this works, but, for some reason, it just does. But there is no way on earth my instincts would have given me this information at the start.

What I have learnt from experiences like this, and from making Cherry's Parenting Dilemmas, is that being a good parent doesn't just happen overnight. Like most things, it is a skill that you learn and that you can become better at. But I have found that there is one tool that is, without a doubt, the best help in this quest to become a better parent: the internet.

Whilst millions of excellent people have been brought up by parents who could have never even imagined the internet, I honestly don't know what I'd do without it. It has calmed me in moments of panic, it has comforted me in moments of isolation, it has made me wee my pants in moments of shared ridiculousness. It is parental gold dust.

I'm sure for some people the vast sea of information can actually just add confusion to the parenting malarky. But, for me, it has been an invaluable tool. Some of my favourite parenting online tools are mumsnet (praise be), BabyCentre and Mums Like You. Some social networking sites have also been very informative. Type in any question, no matter how absurd or random, and you will find a huge community of parents discussing the same thing. And often, they have collectively come up with some pretty brilliant solutions.

It is a substitute for a local community sharing stories and offering advice - except multiply that by a thousand and extend it's availability to 24 hours a day. Everyone can get involved and offer their words of wisdom. Maybe one day, after many trials and errors, no chair, no food will help a parent who is tired of chasing their children around the kitchen with spoons of bolognese.

Cherry Healey presents Cherry's Parenting Dilemmas on Monday at 9pm.

Next week, Cherry will be tackling what money means to women in Britain today here on the blog and you can watch Cherry's Cash Dilemmas on Monday 15th August at 9pm.

Join in the conversation and get tweeting, the hashtag is #bbc3cherry.

- NHS Guide to parenting in the early years
- National Childbirth Trust (NCT)
- Family Lives
- Bringing Up Britain
- BBC Parenting
- Is Breast Best? Cherry Healey Investigates
- Visit Cherry Healey's blog

I never thought I would enjoy eating out of a bin. Turns out, I really do.

I've always loved a bargain but, whilst making Cherry's Cash Dilemmas for BBC3, my commitment to frugality was tested. I was introduced to the world of freeganism and skipping by Katharine Hibbert. Katharine has been studying the art of living for free for two years, learning the do's and don't's of hitchhiking, squatting and skipping.

To experience skipping, we prowled the streets of London waiting for cafés and restaurants to close so we could dive into their discarded bin bags to see if there was any edible hidden treasure. I have to admit that my initial reaction was one of horror - until Katharine opened up bin liners containing sandwiches, sushi, bread, muffins, cakes - all within date, all in their plastic packaging, all completely edible. I did however say no thanks to the big bags of warm soup - just a little bit too close to hospital waste.

For Katharine, her decision to live for free is a political one but for others skipping is a means of survival. Katharine was eager to make this distinction clear - for her, it is a reaction to our dangerous culture of waste.

Up in Gloucester I met someone who was perfecting the art of gold digging. Twenty-something Esma gave me the makeover of a lifetime to demonstrate what was needed in order to bag a rich hubby. With a chocolate brown tan, nails so long I struggled to do my jeans up, and a downstairs accessory (a tribute to TOWIE - you know what I'm talking about!) I was ready to go out on the town with Esma and her friends, all of whom had set themselves the goal of living off a rich man.

Whilst the method was very different to Katharine's, in a way, they also wanted to live for free. Each week they ploughed their salaries into their appearance in order to attract the "right" kind of man. They felt the money they spent at the salon was an investment - that one day Mr Moneybags would scoop them up, buy them an IT bag and give them the keys to his kitted-out 4x4. All their hopes and efforts were focused on this one outcome. They had no backup plan and they wouldn't accept that there was a chance it wouldn't happen for them. They had total faith they would achieve.

I also met someone with a strong belief in their ability to achieve. Except, this was a faith in their ability to make their own fortune. Amanda, inventor of My Carry Potty, was unbelievably glamorous, successful and motivational. She had juggled children and a business and, after years of working late after putting the kids to bed, she was reaping the rewards of her labour. And wow, were they some rewards! Beautiful houses, designer clothes, diamonds and a champagne lifestyle - but Amanda told me that the real joy was knowing she had earnt everything herself. She didn't have to ask anyone's permission, she didn't have to worry about keeping someone sweet, she didn't have to feel guilt about a single purchase. Amanda had accepted that money made her happy, and she was determined to make sure she was never without it.

On the opposite side of the county, was someone living a very different life. In one of the poorest areas of the UK, and with seven children, Claire refuses to go on benefits. She told me that, whilst benefits were vital in emergency situations, they also contributed low self esteem and lack of aspiration. And in light of the recent London riots, her views on money are perhaps even more poignant. Like Amanda, Claire has an incredible work ethic. As a teaching assistant and mum, Claire begins her day at 5am and takes two buses to get to work. She brings in just enough money to pay the bills and feed her gaggle of children, yet she loves her job. I don't at all want to romanticise financial hardship but I can't deny that Claire's family was very happy. Of course, Claire told me her life would be easier with more money but it would not affect how close they were as a family. Money or not, Claire had invested time and love into her children and was reaping the rewards.

Whether money can make you happy or not was the core question that I asked whilst making the programme. There is no question that it can alleviate problems and make life easier. Being able to pay bills without stress, being able to outsource admin, being able to help family and friends, these are undeniable benefits of having money. However, I've always felt that whilst money can make a happy person happier, it can't make an unhappy person happy. Money comes and money goes, but investing in family and friends is what truly makes the difference in how happy we are.

Cherry Healey presents Cherry's Cash Dilemmas on Monday at 9pm.

Next week, Cherry will be talking about women's body issues on the blog and you can watch Cherry's Body Dilemmas on Monday 22nd August at 9pm.

Join in the conversation and get tweeting, the hashtag is #bbc3cherry.

- Watch Cherry's Parenting Dilemmas on iPlayer
- BBC Radio 1 Advice: Money
- BBC News: Your Money
- Visit Cherry Healey's blog

When we decided to make a programme about body image, I was excited. It's something I've really struggled with so I felt that I would, perhaps, be able to understand the stories I was going to hear but that I would, definitely, learn a huge amount.

My worst period of body consciousness was at university. I was heart broken for the first time and spent six months eating the chocolate bits out of my flatmate's cereal, moping on the sofa, watching box sets until 4am - putting on two stone in the process. A classic break-up recovery method. When I recently re-read my diaries from those years I was horrified to see what I'd written. As I read them out loud, with the director listening wide-eyed, I was both extremely embarassed and deeply sadden at what I'd been feeling. I had forgotten how bad my body neurosis was at that time.

And, whilst I have become much happier in my own skin over time, there is still a hang-over from those years of negative thoughts. And at the age of 30, and now a mum, I decided that it was time to face them head on. Enough of desiring a body that I'm never going to have. Enough of looking at beautiful, leggy women and wishing I looked like them. Enough of unnecessary, exhausting and time-wasting negative comments.

So I wanted to meet women who were on their own journey of physical liberation or change, in the hope that I would learn from them how to have a healthier relationship with my own body and I hope the film begins a bigger discussion especially amongst the body conscious young women.

So, what did I learn whilst making Cherry's Body Dilemmas?

Women need to question what a normal body is
I tweeted the question "Who would like to change something about their body?" and had an immediate explosion of responses. It wasn't a surprise and the fact that so many women worry about their body, to some extent, is not revelatory. However, I think women should start questioning how much time and emotional energy is given to these thoughts and whether this is something they are prepared to put up with. For me, once I started being really honest about how much I think about it, I realised that I was not prepared to give any more of my life to this wasted exercise. In fact, it made me feel quite angry that I'd allowed it to take so much mental energy already.

Body neurosis doesn't discriminate
The first girls I met in the programme were two sisters in their early 20s. They were the kind of girls you'd look at in a bar and sigh a little sigh of jealousy. And yet when I asked them what they'd change about their bodies, out poured a list as long as my arm. Thinner thighs, bigger boobs, toned tummy... you name it, they'd change it and they meant it. When I met a group of their friends later in a bar it was the same story for them. I also met a gorgeous girl called Princess who had a bottom like a cheeky peach. Yet she felt it was so unattractive that she wanted surgery to change it. It's easy to look at some girls and think they're silly or stupid for having body neurosis but, the fact is, the media image of perfect beauty is so powerful that only very few remain immune to it.

There is light at the end of the tunnel
At the beginning of this process, I suppose, I secretly felt that body liberation couldn't truly exist in a culture with such intensive exposure to images of airbrushed women. But much to my surprise Sandra, a naturist from Gloucester, proved me wrong. Ok, ok, so I know that being a naturist isn't exactly a standard hobby but once I'd acclimatised to seeing people in their birthday suits, I realised that Sandra had a nugget of gold to share. She had taken personal responsibility for her body worries and had decided to change the way she felt about her body. It wasn't a lightening, overnight moment but it was a gradual, conscious decision to feel happier with her body. She chose to see her body in a new light: as an amazing vehicle that had produced six children and was hers and hers alone. She had stopped comparing herself to other women and, in doing so, she had found a happier, more peaceful relationship with her body. I want me some of that.

This is a huge subject that affects millions of women all over the world. I think that sharing our experiences candidly is absolutely key the to moving forward - I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this subject.

Cherry Healey presents Cherry's Body Dilemmas tonight at 9pm.

Join in the conversation and get tweeting, the hashtag is #bbc3cherry.

- BBC Health: Healthy Weight
- BBC Health: Your Weight
- NHS: Lose weight, Live well
- Watch Cherry's Parenting Dilemmas on iPlayer
- Cherry's Cash Dilemmas on iPlayer
- Visit Cherry Healey's blog

Well last night’s show saw Free Speech reach new levels of debate, with topics getting the panel fired up, the studio audience fired up, and you guys at home SO fired up that we were a global trending topic on Twitter. High five yourself right now.

We don’t know about you but we feel for the panel sometimes, facing the comments, the questions and the Power Bar of truth. Here’s what last night’s panellist Cherry Healey had to say on it all…

I was utterly terrified before I went on stage and I thought everyone would be able to tell, but as I got in to it I realised it was nothing to worry about.

The discussion flowed, the other panellists were really interesting, and the questions from the audience were great.

But it went so fast! It disappeared in a flash, and I didn’t have a chance to say everything that I wanted to. But that wasn’t the point. Free Speech isn’t here to solve the issues being discussed, it’s here to set the debate and get people thinking, and it's got me thinking.

The audience was brilliant. I would have been disappointed if they hadn’t got fired up - I was expecting that and Bristol well and truly delivered. The one guy who was shouting a lot definitely got some air time, and was passionate to say the least. Although he maybe stopped some other people asking questions that they were waiting patiently to ask, he did seem to unite the audience and made us all laugh a couple of times as well.

I felt that some audience members took a bit too much time to make their points, and occasionally it felt like they were going off track, but then I guess they might say the same about us on the panel!

I would have liked to have engaged with the audience a bit more, maybe with some back and forth like Kojo and Jamal did, but in the heat of the moment everyone is trying to speak so it’s understandable to come off and wish you could do it again.

I was really surprised at how many of the audience and panel were up for re-thinking the drugs policy. I thought there would be way more people opposing the idea of decriminalising drugs, but a lot of people seemed to have a well thought out argument in favour of it. There is a big difference though between legalising and decriminalising, and I wish I’d made more of a point of that now.

As for the Power Bar, I would love to be the kind of person who wouldn’t mind about what it says, but obviously that’s hard to do. I was nervous for the reaction but it was really interesting to see how the audience were responding as the show was happening.

Kojo, Cherry Healey, Jamal Edwards and Michelle De Swarte head home.

The debate continued for the panel as three of us shared a train home, and for anyone following the banter on Twitter you’ll know it was quite an interesting ride!

Free Speech for me was as it should be; exciting, nerve-wracking and thoroughly thought-provoking.

So that’s what Cherry made of it all, but what about you? Free Speech is shaped by your opinions so please do tell us what you thought either in the comments below, or on our Facebook page or Twitter.

• Watch clips from Free Speech
• Read previous Free Speech blogs
• Follow  Free Speech on Twitter
• Like Free Speech on Facebook

I don’t know about you, but I find modern life pretty confusing. In a world of extremes, how do we find balance? When is it ok to break the rules and when is it not? How do we juggle everything without going cross-eyed?

These are some of the questions I investigate in my new series, How To Get a Life (Wednesdays, 9pm). Sadly I have to tell you that there are no neat answers and, kind of predictably, when we were filming, our questions mostly led to more questions! But what I found from talking to so many people were some really useful pearls of wisdom that have helped me get my head around some of life’s most perplexing issues.

In the series I’ll be meeting people to find out more about:

- modern relationships
- addiction
- how our looks can change our lives
- prejudice
- working & playing hard
- how money affects love.

It’s probably not good to have a favourite but I definitely have a soft spot for the third episode. In this programme we ask how we can use our looks to change our lives and, in today’s society, have our looks become more important than who we are? I met a group of feisty ladies who set me a challenge that took me waaaayyyy out of my comfort zone! I also met a tattoo artist who completely changed my perception of how looks can be used to take control and, perhaps my favourite moment of filming of all time, I met a male stripper who made me laugh so much I cried.

I met a lot of young men and women along the way who were equally promiscuous, and some not at all, who were making up their rules as they went along. Some that I met had slept with high numbers of partners and told me that they love sex and are single so what’s the problem? How many is too many and who decides anyway? After talking to a lot of young people, I get the feeling that the taboo surrounds women more heavily and that it’s still more acceptable for men to sleep around. We really got into the heart of the debate in a few of my hub chats and I was really impressed with people’s honesty.

When I tweeted ‘How many is too many and is there such a thing as a ‘slut’ anymore’ there was a general sense that for girls an acceptable number is 8 whereas for boys it can be 15-20. It also seems that girls are still afraid to be called ‘sluts’ so often tell people they’ve slept with fewer guys whilst boys up their numbers to impress! It seems that whilst we do live in a relatively liberated society, we are all still very aware of the rules.

Later in the first episode I meet a young couple who are also making up their own rules - they have an open relationship that is full of experimentation. The more I talked to them the more I realised that this wasn’t as simple as it sounds. After going on a bit of an, ahem, adventure with them (not in that way!), they both had a bit of a revelation. I also had a bit of a revelation: PVC is extremely flattering but also extremely clammy. Nice.

The first episode holds lots of other surprises and, of course, I overshare massively - my poor mum. I really hope you enjoy the new series and would love to hear any of your questions via this blog or twitter.

Cherry Healey: How To Get A Life is on Wednesdays at 9pm.

• Follow Cherry Healey on Twitter
• Follow BBC Three on Twitter
• Read more of Cherry's BBC Three blogs: